I Like To Write Not Good.
So I like to make sure that I write terribly sometimes. This may sound like terrible advice, and maybe it is. But I think it has its advantages.
For example, people never have to know which are your terribly written stories if you don't tell them. They may guess, they may even be right. But on the off chance they think that the story you wrote honestly was just another one of your "joke" stories, your reputation as a fabulous writer is safe. This is a great safety net for those of us who are deathly afraid of failure.
The other advantage is this. It might or might not improve your writing, but it will certainly improve your mood.
Writing is like anything. Practice makes good one...? Someone once said, "you have to get a million poorly written sentences out of the way before you can start writing good ones." I don't know who this person was, or if that was, in fact, what they said. Maybe I made it up. But it seems like good advice, so I'll take it.
If we accept this random quote as true, wouldn't it be more advantageous for me to intentionally write as many poorly written sentences as I can? Also, it takes a lot less effort to write bad sentences when you aren't busy trying to force them to be good ones.
Anyway. Without further ado. I will be posting my terrible stories here because, well, they make me laugh.
Story One: Man Ghost Story
A man stands in front of a house. the house is old. The man looks at the house and says, 'oh shit that’s an old house.' The house has ghosts. The ghosts look at the man and say, 'oh shit, that’s an old man. Wait no we are old men. That’s a not old man.'
The not old man looks at the ghosts and says. No You are ghost. The ghost agree.
They like that the man is so flower person to them. They give man not old man title that he can use at any convenience shop. Then they float around and go woooo a little bit before entering the house that they were already in and eating dinner at a table. SOme of them dance and do the cha cha. Most don’t. There is a thing about ghosts you should know.
Some like the cha cha.
The man does not join the ghosts but says this is weird. and leaves. The man leaves. He left. Bye man. See you ?
At a shop of convenience the man buys something with the thing that they gave him from ghost. A hotdog mayb? He doesn’t like it. Who would it’s convenience hot dog. Not good reward for being man who saw ghost.
Thank you for your time.